Well, after much self-chastisement, self-inflicted guilt, and general thoughts of "you're such a loser to not keep up with your blog," I've decided to practice what I've spoken and just do what I can as I can with a true heart of gratitude rather than a pretense to make my gratitude journey look perfect. I came to this conclusion after a conversation with Annabeth yesterday. I went upstairs to check on her during her morning devotional time of reading scripture, prayer and writing in her gratitude journal. As I walked in the room, she quickly wiped her eyes. I went over to check on her and noticed some glistening tears still left in those stinking long eyelashes of hers. After I had a moment of minor coveting over those eyelashes, I asked her what was wrong. She said she was frustrated because she had gotten behind in her journal and felt overwhelmed to catch up. When I suggested she just start with the day she was on and not worry about writing the others, you would think I suggested a minor criminal act. She immediately and tearfully launched into the reasons that her journal simply must have 365 days ranging from "it won't look right" to "it won't be as good as mine and Emma's" to "but that's the rules." I spent a while speaking to her about how none of the reasons mentioned honored God and that perhaps she was a bit sidetracked from true thankfulness while trying to maintain an outward appearance. She eventually calmed down and we prayed and she decided to try to write about thanksgiving without worrying about what she is accomplishing or failing to accomplish. As parents, don't you often have that moment when you sort of hover over your parent body and listen to yourself and wonder how on earth those words are coming out of your mouth because they clearly aren't being applied to your own life? I too was down in spirit (not to the point of tears) over being behind in my gratitude journey. I was overwhelmed with gratitude on Sunday morning but couldn't write about it because I hadn't caught up from last Sunday! Oh silly woman! So, today and for the future I write as the Lord impresses and not from mere obligation.
My gratitude for Sunday is being able to be in a body of Christ were I see people laying down their lives for His honor and glory. Just today I texted a friend, "Dying to self brings His new life to others" and I truly see this in our little humble body at Heritage. There are many families that quietly, humbly serve daily from a total emptying out of self for fullness of God. This is done in many ways and often in ways not seen by others, but I was especially moved by a family sitting to my right on Sunday morning. I always take my appropriate "pastor's wife seat" front-and-center so I often don't see people during the morning's service, but as I sang words of worship, the Lord showed me actions of worship right beside me. This family has served the Lord in the venue of foster children for many years. They currently have six foster children, one having special needs. They are also caring for an aging parent, and yet they manage to maintain such a sweet spirit no matter what challenges they may face day to day. My heart rejoices when I see the faithful smile of one of my sisters in Christ who recognizes the beauty of serving the least of these. As Christ bent to wash the feet of those He had poured His life into during His time on this earth, I am thankful to see His children humbly meeting the needs of those God has placed in their lives while pointing them to the One who meets all their needs under the blood of His Son. The lives of children are changed on this earth and prayerfully for all eternity by the sacrifice on one family walking in obedience to their Savior. May I learn to maintain humble dependence on the calling of God in my life and walk in obedience to be His hands and feet of love to those He has placed in my life.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
April 8, 2012 Happy Easter Today and Every Day
I don't love putting a picture of my children up for today, but it was my only picture from Easter. (Well I do have one of us at Easter dinner but upon further review I noticed somehow Jack ate Easter lunch shirtless so that was certainly not any more appropriate....) Of course, I love my family and am just wordlessly thankful for them, but I also don't want to give human glory on such a beautiful day as Resurrection Day. I really was thankful to be able to worship with a precious body of Christ and under a pastor who reminded us that every day is a day to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord. Every day we should be purposeful in our remembrance of His death and resurrection and all that that means in the life of a believer. For so long I remained in a thinking that the Gospel was merely an introduction to Christianity. There was a fallacy in my belief that once you heard the "good news" of Christ you went beyond to learning more about the Bible and how to be a "good" Christian. It's only been within the last ten years that God has mercifully taught me the importance of the Gospel for all mankind and how vital it is to the redeemed to cling to the salvation story moment by moment of our lives. I could think, read, pray and meditate over the life, death and resurrection of Christ every moment of my life on this earth (oh that I would!) and still not even scratch the surface of the magnitude of the Gospel message. How foolish of me to assume to understand the depth, height, width, and breadth of Christ's love in a mere few moments of knowing Him. How beautiful to walk in the pursuit of Him every day of my life on this fallen, wicked earth. How overwhelmingly humbling to see the evidence of His calling and revelation of His magnificence to one such as me. May I remember to rejoice and cling to Resurrection Day every day that I walk as one of His redeemed children.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
April 7, 2012 Traditions
Traditions are fun.....(Is anyone else singing in the voice of an older Jewish man right now?) Anyway, sometimes I forget how important and meaningful family traditions can be. I've noticed when older siblings gather together, most of the memories shared center around the traditions of their family. Often Easter sneaks up on me, but this year I felt a bit more prepared spiritually which is a grace of the Lord for which I am thankful. I almost forgot some of the "silly" traditions that we do such as dying Easter eggs and making bunny cakes. It makes me smile that even as my kids are growing older, they still love doing things that we do as a family year after year. My parents weren't with us this year and even my mother asked for picture texts to be sent to her of all that we did over the weekend from dying eggs to Easter lunch. I'm not sure I've ever stopped long enough to be thankful for the traditions that my parents were faithful to do with our family in my younger years and to be grateful to have the chance to create new traditions and memories with my own family. Traditions provide a sense of stability and a bond between those that share them. Have you ever tried to explain a tradition that seems perfectly normal to you but is rather baffling to the listener? Jay thought is was rather odd that we eat Mexican food and chocolate fondue every New Year's Eve, but that's just what we had always done in my family so dipping in a communal pot with long forks and crumbly pound cake didn't bother me as it did him. For some reason when Emma was little, I made the dessert for decorating the Christmas tree night s'mores. Most people eat those around a campfire, but the Sampsons eat them in the midst of Christmas lights and bulbs. (This tradition really grosses Jay out as he is not fond of messy eaters and I take pics of the kids every year with gooey marshmallow and smeared chocolate all over the faces). It's fun to do things that just your family understands and cherishes. Spiritual traditions are even more important. The habits that we ingrain into our children now can be grown by our Lord and passed down from generation to generation. I want to take the time to reflect this year and evaluate the traditions that we are forming within the walls of our home. Are we emphasizing what is good and pure and true and right? Are we maintaining a Godly perspective on what we participate in as a family? Will the traditions that my children share with their own children honor God above all else? Thank you Lord for traditions and memories that bring us close and give me the wisdom to make You the central focus of our home in all things.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
April 6, 2012 Passover
Tonight a sweet man in our church held a simple Seder celebration in order to help us in our worship of the Risen Christ this weekend by seeing all that God has done in the life of His chosen people culminating in the sacrifice and resurrection of His Son. There is so much to the Jewish feasts and celebrations that it boggles my mind just trying to understand the simplest of elements, but even in my limited understanding, I am astounded at the sovereignty of God from the beginning of time in preparation for a Savior for mankind. To think that those very exact and meaningful instructions given to the Israelites in order to save the lives of the firstborn so many thousands of years ago, also pointed to the Sacrificial Lamb that would make final atonement for sin. I am humbled that today many Jewish families will participate in Passover without the true understanding of it's ultimate fulfillment in Christ. And yet, I have been given eyes to see and ears to hear through no greatness of my own but all from the mercy of God. The symbolism in this meal is amazing. The bitter herbs dipped in salt water symbolize the bitter sorrow of years in slavery to Egypt but also our sorrow in captivity to death and slavery to sin. The blood of the lamb on the doorpost that night long ago saved the lives of the firstborn, but the spilled blood of our Sacrificial Lamb saves those that call upon His Holy name. The sweet haroset is symbolic of the mortar used in the building of Pharaoh's bricks, but also the sweet fulfillment as God led them to the land of milk and honey. How much more sweet is my participation in joyful restoration as a daughter of the Living God! And I was most amazed at the three pieces of matzah, the middle one broken, wrapped and hidden to be brought back to the table near the end of the meal. Looking at the three pieces of bread was a representation to me of the three persons of God-Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It is the striped and pierced middle piece that represent the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It seems so simple to see and yet all my understanding is from my gracious Heavenly Father and causes me to humbly cry out thanks for the revelation of my need for a Savior and the redemption through Jesus Christ. I am sure there is so much more to see and understand, but I know that I left singing praises to God who provided the means for my redemption before the beginning of time. May the Lord continue to grant me the incredible blessing of understanding and seeing the beautiful story of His redemption of sinners such as myself.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
April 5, 2012 His Word Does Not Return Void
I've written about the Word of God before, and I know I will write about it several more times this year. The truth and power of Scripture has been on my mind and heart this week. I love how God just pours truth upon you from every direction when He is trying to reveal more of Himself to you and grow you in your love for Him. Sadly, I often treat Scripture rather flippantly or take for granted the many copies at my fingertips at any given moment. Monday's morning reading in Taste and See by John Piper challenged me to feast on the Word of God. He states, "Faith feeds on the word of God. Without a steady diet it gets weaker and weaker. If you are dissatisfied with your Christian courage and joy and purity of heart, check the way you are feeding your faith.....Now the effect of starving your faith is that faith starves. Not hard to understand. And when faith is starving, it is weak and not able to do much. It has a hard time trusting God and worshiping and rejoicing and resisting sin. It is gasping and stumbling." He tells us to feed our faith with the constant knowledge of the Word of God. Start your day with it, end your day with it and take some point of truth from those readings to put in your mind and on your tongue throughout the day. (http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/taste-see-articles/please-feed-me-more) This is such a simple concept, but somehow I have always made Scripture memory some enormous mountain that I keep slipping down. I was encouraged to think of hiding just a part, perhaps just one verse, from my morning reading to be with me throughout the day. Instead of turning it into some sort of intense scripture memory program or feeling the need to have everyone hold me accountable, I could simply feed on His Word in the morning and keep it with me throughout the day. Feasting again the next morning on another inspired truth. This is working with my children as well as we take a portion of morning devotions to be with us throughout our day. The next blast of truth about the importance of the Word came in a history lesson with my girls. We read about the Scottish Covenanters and their martyrdom for the truth of Christ. We read story after story of how the blessed souls spoke the Word of God as their last words on earth whether in hanging, burning or drowning. How vital that my heart, soul and mind be saturated with the words of His Truth! Of course, I'm always encouraged in mid-week Bible study as women gather from all walks of life to read and discuss Scripture. It is amazing and encouraging to me to hear how the same truth in Scripture penetrates each of His children in different ways but always for their good and His glory. And today again, I am just so thankful to be able to read the words of the passion week to my children. To have the amazing gift of the words of Christ spoken in the days before His death and resurrection. Lord, please break my heart when I ignore your precious Word and bring me to my knees in need of feasting on your Truth daily.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
April 4, 2012 Just Being Jack
Today isn't anything earth-shattering or extremely profound (does that mean some of the other entries have been? :) But I just love my son and how extremely different he is and how God has shown me so much through his little life. Today he spent over an hour making thumbprint characters from my childhood book, Ed Emberly's Great Thumbprint Drawing Book. Jack doesn't usually spend an hour on anything! For some reason, he was absolutely absorbed in creating other worlds and fantastic stories from thumbprint characters and animals. He was covered in ink by the time it was all said and done, but it was worth it! This page alone took a five full minutes of narration for him to truly convey the depth of all that is occurring. I love the child's mind and how ink and thumbprints can turn into an underwater adventure. Just as I've been awed by the creative workings of the Lord in nature this week, that pales in comparison to the stunning depth of the created human mind. All the intricacies of the human body that keep man alive and all the areas of the mind that astound us are a mere drop in the vastness of our Creator. I had true joy today watching a little (usually very busy) guy sit with pursed lips and concentrated eyes working to communicate the elaborate depth of his imagination on ink and paper. I'm not even quite sure why this made the gratitude journal today; I just know I watched and smiled and praised the Lord for the creative mind of my son.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
April 3, 2012 Serving One Another
I did not get my laundry this backed up; I promise! It's that time again when you dig around in the attic and pull down those change-of-season clothes. On one hand, I am so thankful to have clothes for my children so we don't have to purchase so many, but on the other hand, it's quite a bit of work to change out the drawers and clean all that laundry. You know, sometimes it's a bit easier to serve in ways that may seem more sacrificial on the surface: making a meal for a family with a new little one, opening your home to guests in need, visiting the sick, sacrificing financially to help a family in crisis. The times that make me grit my teeth and mutter under my breath? When I see the opportunity to serve those in my own home. There's a popular Pinterest "poster" right now that has a distraught woman leaning her head dejectedly on her arms with the saying above her that reads, "Why do they want dinner every single night?" And often, this is the thought that trudges along with me throughout my days. Why must I clean the same clothes over and over? Why must he leave his shoes there every day? Why is it no one can seem to put things back where they belong? And so on and so on. Now, don't get me wrong, I strongly believe in the training of children to be proper stewards of the blessings that God has given them, but sometimes my spirit just balks a bit when the Spirit instructs me to serve the Lord with gladness by serving those in my home. To truly serve is to stoop low with no expectations. To truly serve with joy is a gift from the Lord. I'd like you to continue to think that that massive pile of clothes was folded by yours truly in joyful thanksgiving of the opportunity to honor my loved ones but alas, that pile looked like a big old jumbled mess when I went to sleep last night. Unless there truly are laundry fairies that I've just somehow managed to miss my entire life, my dear husband stayed up late folding all those articles of clothing. That was such a sweet sight to greet me this morning as I stumbled out of bed heading for the coffee pot (which was also preset to start my day with rejoicing) We all face those small moments of our day when the Spirit says, "Stoop low and serve for My glory," but our flesh wants to rise in rebellion with grumbling, resenting or simply ignoring the moment to humbly be the hands and feet of Christ. The graciousness of Christ was seen in the gentle healing of the masses of people, the long-suffering patience of those who did not comprehend, the constant attention from the least of these and the bending low to wash the feet at His final Passover meal. I pray that that same Spirit will give me hands to serve with joy, ears to listen with patience, eyes to see the small needs, and graciousness to honor the gifts in my home with servanthood of Christ.
Monday, April 2, 2012
April 2, 2012 The Beauty of Butterflies
April 2, 2012
Remember those little caterpillars who had a lovely Spring Break in Waco, Texas? Well, today they were released to their freedom. It really is amazing to watch tiny little ugly caterpillars turn themselves into bizarre-looking hanging cocoons and then emerge as these amazing winged creatures with intricate patterns of color. I mean do you ever sit back and just get blown away by the details of creation? So God fills this created earth with a breathe and within that He decides to create these creatures that will exhibit such an intricate metamorphosis, really?!? This is an incredible Creator! We all gathered around their temporary home today just to watch a tiny proboscis uncurl to sip on a slice of orange. The beautiful details of this earth are truly stunning, but how much more should I be stunned by my Creator? I am once again reminded that all that surrounds me is a fallen, broken version of what my God spoke into being. I truly can't even begin to comprehend the beauty of Eden and then, just as significantly, I struggle to understand the truly devastating effects of the sinful fall. I must admit that I obsessed over the butterflies just a bit during their stay in our home. Did we shake them too much? Would all the car vibrations prevent them from making their cocoons? Are we abiding by all the rules in our butterfly pamphlet? What if none of them make it out of the cocoon? Am I feeding them enough? The list of the slightly OCD butterfly keeper goes on and on and on. But today as they crawled to warm themselves in our hands before flight, I was just struck by details of their tiny lives and how much more love and attention has been lavished upon me. The book of Matthew warns us about the sin of anxious living.
But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:30-34
The birds eat, the lilies bloom, and the butterflies emerge to fly how much more will my Father of love, goodness, and mercy care for his daughter created in His own image and covered under the blood of His Son?
Sunday, April 1, 2012
April 1, 2012 Conviction
I have changed the rules of my very own assignment given by me, and for me and yet I'm still stressed out at the thought of having to give myself grace. I have the personality that just can't stand the fact that I am so far behind and now my March days will post in April and I may never catch up and the world will just spin off its axis. I also have this thing about starting at the beginning. (Remember my confession on January 1 that if everything doesn't go according to plan, I often think of waiting for the next year to begin anew?) So please forgive me for missing days...by the time it's all said and done, I will officially change the blog title to 35? Glimpses of Gratitude and then people will just think I am eccentric instead of dreadfully OCD. :)
All of that being said, my picture of the day is courtesy of my son Jack. I won't give the details of his sinful situation as that would not be appropriate, but over the weekend he was being silly with a friend and wrote some inappropriate words on a piece of a paper. These words were not serious by adult standards, but they did give me pause so I asked him to read the words back to me when I found the piece of paper. I was really hoping for some letter reversals to alleviate my concern but his immediate reaction showed me that he did indeed know something was inappropriate about the written words. He said, "I hate that" and then, as softly as humanly possible, he read the words for me. I just took him to Jay and let him handle the situation as I was leaving the house. They had a good father/son discussion and Jay corrected, forgave and restored Jack modeling the actions of our Heavenly Father towards us. What brought correction to my spirit was the immediate reaction Jack had to the evidence of his sin. He really wasn't that concerned about getting in trouble as much as he immediately hated the sin. Even the heart of a seven-year-old boy can be brought under conviction by the Holy Spirit. He wanted his sin completely removed and so when he had finished talking to Jay, he asked if he could finally throw it away. Jay answered yes, of course, and assumed that he would just toss it in the kitchen trash, but he noticed Jack was heading outside to the dumpster by our garage. It was taking Jack awhile to return to the house, so Jay peeked outside to find him attempting to haul the huge trashcan to the curb for pick-up. This is a seemingly simple story but I wondered if I treat the revelation of my sin as seriously as Jack had in this situation. Am I truly appalled and grieved and broken by the sins I commit daily? Do I approach my Father with humility in confession and ask him to make me hate the sin? Am I more concerned about the unpleasant consequences of the sin rather than the affront to a holy God? And do I ask to see that sin as the ugliness that it is instead of flippantly dismissing it? Conviction is such a beautiful gift and only within the last years have I been brought in my prayer life to cry out thanksgiving for the gift of correction. For a God who loves me enough to bring about a sorrow over what grieves Him and then to follow that with forgiveness and restoration. May we all pray to be humbly broken over our sin, ask for it to be removed from our lives and trust in the complete forgiveness that our merciful Father lavishes upon us.
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