I have changed the rules of my very own assignment given by me, and for me and yet I'm still stressed out at the thought of having to give myself grace. I have the personality that just can't stand the fact that I am so far behind and now my March days will post in April and I may never catch up and the world will just spin off its axis. I also have this thing about starting at the beginning. (Remember my confession on January 1 that if everything doesn't go according to plan, I often think of waiting for the next year to begin anew?) So please forgive me for missing days...by the time it's all said and done, I will officially change the blog title to 35? Glimpses of Gratitude and then people will just think I am eccentric instead of dreadfully OCD. :)
All of that being said, my picture of the day is courtesy of my son Jack. I won't give the details of his sinful situation as that would not be appropriate, but over the weekend he was being silly with a friend and wrote some inappropriate words on a piece of a paper. These words were not serious by adult standards, but they did give me pause so I asked him to read the words back to me when I found the piece of paper. I was really hoping for some letter reversals to alleviate my concern but his immediate reaction showed me that he did indeed know something was inappropriate about the written words. He said, "I hate that" and then, as softly as humanly possible, he read the words for me. I just took him to Jay and let him handle the situation as I was leaving the house. They had a good father/son discussion and Jay corrected, forgave and restored Jack modeling the actions of our Heavenly Father towards us. What brought correction to my spirit was the immediate reaction Jack had to the evidence of his sin. He really wasn't that concerned about getting in trouble as much as he immediately hated the sin. Even the heart of a seven-year-old boy can be brought under conviction by the Holy Spirit. He wanted his sin completely removed and so when he had finished talking to Jay, he asked if he could finally throw it away. Jay answered yes, of course, and assumed that he would just toss it in the kitchen trash, but he noticed Jack was heading outside to the dumpster by our garage. It was taking Jack awhile to return to the house, so Jay peeked outside to find him attempting to haul the huge trashcan to the curb for pick-up. This is a seemingly simple story but I wondered if I treat the revelation of my sin as seriously as Jack had in this situation. Am I truly appalled and grieved and broken by the sins I commit daily? Do I approach my Father with humility in confession and ask him to make me hate the sin? Am I more concerned about the unpleasant consequences of the sin rather than the affront to a holy God? And do I ask to see that sin as the ugliness that it is instead of flippantly dismissing it? Conviction is such a beautiful gift and only within the last years have I been brought in my prayer life to cry out thanksgiving for the gift of correction. For a God who loves me enough to bring about a sorrow over what grieves Him and then to follow that with forgiveness and restoration. May we all pray to be humbly broken over our sin, ask for it to be removed from our lives and trust in the complete forgiveness that our merciful Father lavishes upon us.
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