Well, after much self-chastisement, self-inflicted guilt, and general thoughts of "you're such a loser to not keep up with your blog," I've decided to practice what I've spoken and just do what I can as I can with a true heart of gratitude rather than a pretense to make my gratitude journey look perfect. I came to this conclusion after a conversation with Annabeth yesterday. I went upstairs to check on her during her morning devotional time of reading scripture, prayer and writing in her gratitude journal. As I walked in the room, she quickly wiped her eyes. I went over to check on her and noticed some glistening tears still left in those stinking long eyelashes of hers. After I had a moment of minor coveting over those eyelashes, I asked her what was wrong. She said she was frustrated because she had gotten behind in her journal and felt overwhelmed to catch up. When I suggested she just start with the day she was on and not worry about writing the others, you would think I suggested a minor criminal act. She immediately and tearfully launched into the reasons that her journal simply must have 365 days ranging from "it won't look right" to "it won't be as good as mine and Emma's" to "but that's the rules." I spent a while speaking to her about how none of the reasons mentioned honored God and that perhaps she was a bit sidetracked from true thankfulness while trying to maintain an outward appearance. She eventually calmed down and we prayed and she decided to try to write about thanksgiving without worrying about what she is accomplishing or failing to accomplish. As parents, don't you often have that moment when you sort of hover over your parent body and listen to yourself and wonder how on earth those words are coming out of your mouth because they clearly aren't being applied to your own life? I too was down in spirit (not to the point of tears) over being behind in my gratitude journey. I was overwhelmed with gratitude on Sunday morning but couldn't write about it because I hadn't caught up from last Sunday! Oh silly woman! So, today and for the future I write as the Lord impresses and not from mere obligation.
My gratitude for Sunday is being able to be in a body of Christ were I see people laying down their lives for His honor and glory. Just today I texted a friend, "Dying to self brings His new life to others" and I truly see this in our little humble body at Heritage. There are many families that quietly, humbly serve daily from a total emptying out of self for fullness of God. This is done in many ways and often in ways not seen by others, but I was especially moved by a family sitting to my right on Sunday morning. I always take my appropriate "pastor's wife seat" front-and-center so I often don't see people during the morning's service, but as I sang words of worship, the Lord showed me actions of worship right beside me. This family has served the Lord in the venue of foster children for many years. They currently have six foster children, one having special needs. They are also caring for an aging parent, and yet they manage to maintain such a sweet spirit no matter what challenges they may face day to day. My heart rejoices when I see the faithful smile of one of my sisters in Christ who recognizes the beauty of serving the least of these. As Christ bent to wash the feet of those He had poured His life into during His time on this earth, I am thankful to see His children humbly meeting the needs of those God has placed in their lives while pointing them to the One who meets all their needs under the blood of His Son. The lives of children are changed on this earth and prayerfully for all eternity by the sacrifice on one family walking in obedience to their Savior. May I learn to maintain humble dependence on the calling of God in my life and walk in obedience to be His hands and feet of love to those He has placed in my life.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
April 8, 2012 Happy Easter Today and Every Day
I don't love putting a picture of my children up for today, but it was my only picture from Easter. (Well I do have one of us at Easter dinner but upon further review I noticed somehow Jack ate Easter lunch shirtless so that was certainly not any more appropriate....) Of course, I love my family and am just wordlessly thankful for them, but I also don't want to give human glory on such a beautiful day as Resurrection Day. I really was thankful to be able to worship with a precious body of Christ and under a pastor who reminded us that every day is a day to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord. Every day we should be purposeful in our remembrance of His death and resurrection and all that that means in the life of a believer. For so long I remained in a thinking that the Gospel was merely an introduction to Christianity. There was a fallacy in my belief that once you heard the "good news" of Christ you went beyond to learning more about the Bible and how to be a "good" Christian. It's only been within the last ten years that God has mercifully taught me the importance of the Gospel for all mankind and how vital it is to the redeemed to cling to the salvation story moment by moment of our lives. I could think, read, pray and meditate over the life, death and resurrection of Christ every moment of my life on this earth (oh that I would!) and still not even scratch the surface of the magnitude of the Gospel message. How foolish of me to assume to understand the depth, height, width, and breadth of Christ's love in a mere few moments of knowing Him. How beautiful to walk in the pursuit of Him every day of my life on this fallen, wicked earth. How overwhelmingly humbling to see the evidence of His calling and revelation of His magnificence to one such as me. May I remember to rejoice and cling to Resurrection Day every day that I walk as one of His redeemed children.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
April 7, 2012 Traditions
Traditions are fun.....(Is anyone else singing in the voice of an older Jewish man right now?) Anyway, sometimes I forget how important and meaningful family traditions can be. I've noticed when older siblings gather together, most of the memories shared center around the traditions of their family. Often Easter sneaks up on me, but this year I felt a bit more prepared spiritually which is a grace of the Lord for which I am thankful. I almost forgot some of the "silly" traditions that we do such as dying Easter eggs and making bunny cakes. It makes me smile that even as my kids are growing older, they still love doing things that we do as a family year after year. My parents weren't with us this year and even my mother asked for picture texts to be sent to her of all that we did over the weekend from dying eggs to Easter lunch. I'm not sure I've ever stopped long enough to be thankful for the traditions that my parents were faithful to do with our family in my younger years and to be grateful to have the chance to create new traditions and memories with my own family. Traditions provide a sense of stability and a bond between those that share them. Have you ever tried to explain a tradition that seems perfectly normal to you but is rather baffling to the listener? Jay thought is was rather odd that we eat Mexican food and chocolate fondue every New Year's Eve, but that's just what we had always done in my family so dipping in a communal pot with long forks and crumbly pound cake didn't bother me as it did him. For some reason when Emma was little, I made the dessert for decorating the Christmas tree night s'mores. Most people eat those around a campfire, but the Sampsons eat them in the midst of Christmas lights and bulbs. (This tradition really grosses Jay out as he is not fond of messy eaters and I take pics of the kids every year with gooey marshmallow and smeared chocolate all over the faces). It's fun to do things that just your family understands and cherishes. Spiritual traditions are even more important. The habits that we ingrain into our children now can be grown by our Lord and passed down from generation to generation. I want to take the time to reflect this year and evaluate the traditions that we are forming within the walls of our home. Are we emphasizing what is good and pure and true and right? Are we maintaining a Godly perspective on what we participate in as a family? Will the traditions that my children share with their own children honor God above all else? Thank you Lord for traditions and memories that bring us close and give me the wisdom to make You the central focus of our home in all things.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
April 6, 2012 Passover
Tonight a sweet man in our church held a simple Seder celebration in order to help us in our worship of the Risen Christ this weekend by seeing all that God has done in the life of His chosen people culminating in the sacrifice and resurrection of His Son. There is so much to the Jewish feasts and celebrations that it boggles my mind just trying to understand the simplest of elements, but even in my limited understanding, I am astounded at the sovereignty of God from the beginning of time in preparation for a Savior for mankind. To think that those very exact and meaningful instructions given to the Israelites in order to save the lives of the firstborn so many thousands of years ago, also pointed to the Sacrificial Lamb that would make final atonement for sin. I am humbled that today many Jewish families will participate in Passover without the true understanding of it's ultimate fulfillment in Christ. And yet, I have been given eyes to see and ears to hear through no greatness of my own but all from the mercy of God. The symbolism in this meal is amazing. The bitter herbs dipped in salt water symbolize the bitter sorrow of years in slavery to Egypt but also our sorrow in captivity to death and slavery to sin. The blood of the lamb on the doorpost that night long ago saved the lives of the firstborn, but the spilled blood of our Sacrificial Lamb saves those that call upon His Holy name. The sweet haroset is symbolic of the mortar used in the building of Pharaoh's bricks, but also the sweet fulfillment as God led them to the land of milk and honey. How much more sweet is my participation in joyful restoration as a daughter of the Living God! And I was most amazed at the three pieces of matzah, the middle one broken, wrapped and hidden to be brought back to the table near the end of the meal. Looking at the three pieces of bread was a representation to me of the three persons of God-Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It is the striped and pierced middle piece that represent the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It seems so simple to see and yet all my understanding is from my gracious Heavenly Father and causes me to humbly cry out thanks for the revelation of my need for a Savior and the redemption through Jesus Christ. I am sure there is so much more to see and understand, but I know that I left singing praises to God who provided the means for my redemption before the beginning of time. May the Lord continue to grant me the incredible blessing of understanding and seeing the beautiful story of His redemption of sinners such as myself.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
April 5, 2012 His Word Does Not Return Void
I've written about the Word of God before, and I know I will write about it several more times this year. The truth and power of Scripture has been on my mind and heart this week. I love how God just pours truth upon you from every direction when He is trying to reveal more of Himself to you and grow you in your love for Him. Sadly, I often treat Scripture rather flippantly or take for granted the many copies at my fingertips at any given moment. Monday's morning reading in Taste and See by John Piper challenged me to feast on the Word of God. He states, "Faith feeds on the word of God. Without a steady diet it gets weaker and weaker. If you are dissatisfied with your Christian courage and joy and purity of heart, check the way you are feeding your faith.....Now the effect of starving your faith is that faith starves. Not hard to understand. And when faith is starving, it is weak and not able to do much. It has a hard time trusting God and worshiping and rejoicing and resisting sin. It is gasping and stumbling." He tells us to feed our faith with the constant knowledge of the Word of God. Start your day with it, end your day with it and take some point of truth from those readings to put in your mind and on your tongue throughout the day. (http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/taste-see-articles/please-feed-me-more) This is such a simple concept, but somehow I have always made Scripture memory some enormous mountain that I keep slipping down. I was encouraged to think of hiding just a part, perhaps just one verse, from my morning reading to be with me throughout the day. Instead of turning it into some sort of intense scripture memory program or feeling the need to have everyone hold me accountable, I could simply feed on His Word in the morning and keep it with me throughout the day. Feasting again the next morning on another inspired truth. This is working with my children as well as we take a portion of morning devotions to be with us throughout our day. The next blast of truth about the importance of the Word came in a history lesson with my girls. We read about the Scottish Covenanters and their martyrdom for the truth of Christ. We read story after story of how the blessed souls spoke the Word of God as their last words on earth whether in hanging, burning or drowning. How vital that my heart, soul and mind be saturated with the words of His Truth! Of course, I'm always encouraged in mid-week Bible study as women gather from all walks of life to read and discuss Scripture. It is amazing and encouraging to me to hear how the same truth in Scripture penetrates each of His children in different ways but always for their good and His glory. And today again, I am just so thankful to be able to read the words of the passion week to my children. To have the amazing gift of the words of Christ spoken in the days before His death and resurrection. Lord, please break my heart when I ignore your precious Word and bring me to my knees in need of feasting on your Truth daily.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
April 4, 2012 Just Being Jack
Today isn't anything earth-shattering or extremely profound (does that mean some of the other entries have been? :) But I just love my son and how extremely different he is and how God has shown me so much through his little life. Today he spent over an hour making thumbprint characters from my childhood book, Ed Emberly's Great Thumbprint Drawing Book. Jack doesn't usually spend an hour on anything! For some reason, he was absolutely absorbed in creating other worlds and fantastic stories from thumbprint characters and animals. He was covered in ink by the time it was all said and done, but it was worth it! This page alone took a five full minutes of narration for him to truly convey the depth of all that is occurring. I love the child's mind and how ink and thumbprints can turn into an underwater adventure. Just as I've been awed by the creative workings of the Lord in nature this week, that pales in comparison to the stunning depth of the created human mind. All the intricacies of the human body that keep man alive and all the areas of the mind that astound us are a mere drop in the vastness of our Creator. I had true joy today watching a little (usually very busy) guy sit with pursed lips and concentrated eyes working to communicate the elaborate depth of his imagination on ink and paper. I'm not even quite sure why this made the gratitude journal today; I just know I watched and smiled and praised the Lord for the creative mind of my son.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
April 3, 2012 Serving One Another
I did not get my laundry this backed up; I promise! It's that time again when you dig around in the attic and pull down those change-of-season clothes. On one hand, I am so thankful to have clothes for my children so we don't have to purchase so many, but on the other hand, it's quite a bit of work to change out the drawers and clean all that laundry. You know, sometimes it's a bit easier to serve in ways that may seem more sacrificial on the surface: making a meal for a family with a new little one, opening your home to guests in need, visiting the sick, sacrificing financially to help a family in crisis. The times that make me grit my teeth and mutter under my breath? When I see the opportunity to serve those in my own home. There's a popular Pinterest "poster" right now that has a distraught woman leaning her head dejectedly on her arms with the saying above her that reads, "Why do they want dinner every single night?" And often, this is the thought that trudges along with me throughout my days. Why must I clean the same clothes over and over? Why must he leave his shoes there every day? Why is it no one can seem to put things back where they belong? And so on and so on. Now, don't get me wrong, I strongly believe in the training of children to be proper stewards of the blessings that God has given them, but sometimes my spirit just balks a bit when the Spirit instructs me to serve the Lord with gladness by serving those in my home. To truly serve is to stoop low with no expectations. To truly serve with joy is a gift from the Lord. I'd like you to continue to think that that massive pile of clothes was folded by yours truly in joyful thanksgiving of the opportunity to honor my loved ones but alas, that pile looked like a big old jumbled mess when I went to sleep last night. Unless there truly are laundry fairies that I've just somehow managed to miss my entire life, my dear husband stayed up late folding all those articles of clothing. That was such a sweet sight to greet me this morning as I stumbled out of bed heading for the coffee pot (which was also preset to start my day with rejoicing) We all face those small moments of our day when the Spirit says, "Stoop low and serve for My glory," but our flesh wants to rise in rebellion with grumbling, resenting or simply ignoring the moment to humbly be the hands and feet of Christ. The graciousness of Christ was seen in the gentle healing of the masses of people, the long-suffering patience of those who did not comprehend, the constant attention from the least of these and the bending low to wash the feet at His final Passover meal. I pray that that same Spirit will give me hands to serve with joy, ears to listen with patience, eyes to see the small needs, and graciousness to honor the gifts in my home with servanthood of Christ.
Monday, April 2, 2012
April 2, 2012 The Beauty of Butterflies
April 2, 2012
Remember those little caterpillars who had a lovely Spring Break in Waco, Texas? Well, today they were released to their freedom. It really is amazing to watch tiny little ugly caterpillars turn themselves into bizarre-looking hanging cocoons and then emerge as these amazing winged creatures with intricate patterns of color. I mean do you ever sit back and just get blown away by the details of creation? So God fills this created earth with a breathe and within that He decides to create these creatures that will exhibit such an intricate metamorphosis, really?!? This is an incredible Creator! We all gathered around their temporary home today just to watch a tiny proboscis uncurl to sip on a slice of orange. The beautiful details of this earth are truly stunning, but how much more should I be stunned by my Creator? I am once again reminded that all that surrounds me is a fallen, broken version of what my God spoke into being. I truly can't even begin to comprehend the beauty of Eden and then, just as significantly, I struggle to understand the truly devastating effects of the sinful fall. I must admit that I obsessed over the butterflies just a bit during their stay in our home. Did we shake them too much? Would all the car vibrations prevent them from making their cocoons? Are we abiding by all the rules in our butterfly pamphlet? What if none of them make it out of the cocoon? Am I feeding them enough? The list of the slightly OCD butterfly keeper goes on and on and on. But today as they crawled to warm themselves in our hands before flight, I was just struck by details of their tiny lives and how much more love and attention has been lavished upon me. The book of Matthew warns us about the sin of anxious living.
But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:30-34
The birds eat, the lilies bloom, and the butterflies emerge to fly how much more will my Father of love, goodness, and mercy care for his daughter created in His own image and covered under the blood of His Son?
Sunday, April 1, 2012
April 1, 2012 Conviction
I have changed the rules of my very own assignment given by me, and for me and yet I'm still stressed out at the thought of having to give myself grace. I have the personality that just can't stand the fact that I am so far behind and now my March days will post in April and I may never catch up and the world will just spin off its axis. I also have this thing about starting at the beginning. (Remember my confession on January 1 that if everything doesn't go according to plan, I often think of waiting for the next year to begin anew?) So please forgive me for missing days...by the time it's all said and done, I will officially change the blog title to 35? Glimpses of Gratitude and then people will just think I am eccentric instead of dreadfully OCD. :)
All of that being said, my picture of the day is courtesy of my son Jack. I won't give the details of his sinful situation as that would not be appropriate, but over the weekend he was being silly with a friend and wrote some inappropriate words on a piece of a paper. These words were not serious by adult standards, but they did give me pause so I asked him to read the words back to me when I found the piece of paper. I was really hoping for some letter reversals to alleviate my concern but his immediate reaction showed me that he did indeed know something was inappropriate about the written words. He said, "I hate that" and then, as softly as humanly possible, he read the words for me. I just took him to Jay and let him handle the situation as I was leaving the house. They had a good father/son discussion and Jay corrected, forgave and restored Jack modeling the actions of our Heavenly Father towards us. What brought correction to my spirit was the immediate reaction Jack had to the evidence of his sin. He really wasn't that concerned about getting in trouble as much as he immediately hated the sin. Even the heart of a seven-year-old boy can be brought under conviction by the Holy Spirit. He wanted his sin completely removed and so when he had finished talking to Jay, he asked if he could finally throw it away. Jay answered yes, of course, and assumed that he would just toss it in the kitchen trash, but he noticed Jack was heading outside to the dumpster by our garage. It was taking Jack awhile to return to the house, so Jay peeked outside to find him attempting to haul the huge trashcan to the curb for pick-up. This is a seemingly simple story but I wondered if I treat the revelation of my sin as seriously as Jack had in this situation. Am I truly appalled and grieved and broken by the sins I commit daily? Do I approach my Father with humility in confession and ask him to make me hate the sin? Am I more concerned about the unpleasant consequences of the sin rather than the affront to a holy God? And do I ask to see that sin as the ugliness that it is instead of flippantly dismissing it? Conviction is such a beautiful gift and only within the last years have I been brought in my prayer life to cry out thanksgiving for the gift of correction. For a God who loves me enough to bring about a sorrow over what grieves Him and then to follow that with forgiveness and restoration. May we all pray to be humbly broken over our sin, ask for it to be removed from our lives and trust in the complete forgiveness that our merciful Father lavishes upon us.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
March 22, 2012 The Idol of Acheivement
Well now that's a super sweet little smile! Today Annabeth was able to compete in AAU state gymnastics and had a great meet. She set her personal high in three events and all-around and is the AAU level 5 state champ ages 10-11. Of course, those of you who have walked with us at any point over the last few years know that this is a major "woot-woot" moment in the Sampson household. I'm very thankful for her protection and for this blessing of victory after she has put such determined effort into this sport. As always there are lessons surrounding me at every moment of my life. We happen to embrace sports in our family and even allow our children to participate at the competitive level. I know this is not the practice of every family, but this is what the Lord has led Jay and I to do at this point in our lives. I love seeing the relationships develop on each of the kids' teams, and I also pray that God continues to reveal Himself to them and grow their characters for His glory in their athletic endeavors. I have a tendency to be just a tiny bit competitive (those who know me are clearing their throats and hopefully smiling at this point) Ok so confession time...Jay is currently sitting beside me and in answer to my very innocent question, "Honey, do you think I am competitive?" He dies laughing and says "Did you not just spend three days playing another word game on your phone to "practice" after losing to me in Scramble with Friends?" Umm...I guess he may have a point. Anyway, it is amazing how quickly the enemy can ensnare you in the field of athletics. Even though Annabeth was having the best meet in the past two years, I still felt the remnant of a critical spirit inside. "Why didn't she hold that handstand on beam?" "Couldn't she have been a bit tighter on bars?" There is a constant need for achievement in most fields of sports, and it can so easily feed the feeling of discontentment within my nature. There is always room for improvement, and there are always those that are better. Man, does this feed that love of self! How quickly do I set up my idols of worship and put myself at the very center? And how often does this deadly snare attempt to take root and destructively grow within so many other areas of my life? My challenge is to take every thought captive; to approach His throne of grace for deliverance from my self-love and to rely upon the beautiful, complete and holy blood of His Son to cover my sin and transform my mind to the humble love and dependence upon Christ alone. Once again, proper perspective is essential to living the life of a redeemed child. Everything in life must fall under the truth of the Gospel and that the fullness of life only comes in the death to self. My heart is so happy for my little Annabeth in her victories but woe to my soul if I ever let that be my only satisfaction. May I continue to realize the seriousness of the sin as a parent who puts more emphasis on their child's happiness and achievements than the redeeming, sustaining work of Christ. And may I always confess and walk in victory over those longings for human glory by looking completely at the glory of my Savior.
Monday, March 26, 2012
March 21, 2012 Childhood Friends
Do you remember those childhood friends that you may have only seen once or twice a year, but those rare moments were filled with fun? These are the sweet kiddos who belong to Kim and Randy, our precious friends of 19 years! Both of our families moved from Shawnee within weeks of each other nearly 12 years ago, but we've still been blessed to see each other several times a year. The oldest of the group, Luke, is missing in this pic but otherwise this is the crazy crew! These kiddos have known each other from the moment they took their first breaths. These are the type of friends who don't judge Jack for wearing pajamas in the middle of the day and who somehow manage to all understand each other's idiosyncrasies. They always pick up right where they left off and never seem to tire of the constant laughter and goofiness. I love how God grants friendship to the children of parents who walk life together. These generations of Godly friendships are extensions of the vast body of Christ living life together over days, months and years. I think sometimes you hold the moments and memories most dear when they are rare in their occurrences. I pray that God will continue to grow their long-distance friendships as they each pursue the Lord in their lives. I pray that I be mindful of how even young friends can pray for one another and encourage one another in holy living. It is a sweet gift to have people placed throughout the country who know you dearly and whole-hardheartedly welcome you to their lives when the Lord graciously grants you the opportunity to glorify Him in the friendships He has designed for your life.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
March 20, 2012 Friends For My Husband
Sometimes I forget to thank God for the Godly men He has put in Jay's life. I know I've given thanks for Godly friendships in my life, but after having the blessing of visiting our dear friends, Kim and Randy, over Spring Break, I was reminded of what a gift it is that my husband also walks life with men who love the Lord. Just last weekend, Jay was able to experience his 17th "Draftmas." For those of you "not in the know" (and I really can't imagine why anyone would be "in the know" about this) Draftmas is the annual fantasy baseball draft/gathering of men/weekend in a cabin in Louisiana extravaganza. Some may ask why it would take five days to conduct a fantasy baseball draft, and I too questioned the inner workings of this event at one point in my life, but trust me, some things are better left alone. All I know is there is significant time spent on the baseball drafting websites, general smack talk (whatever that is) via the Sad Sad Little Men League message board, Jay grabs a sleeping bag and (hopefully) change of clothes and returns a few days later refreshed and harboring many secrets that will never (thankfully) be revealed to the female mind. In all seriousness, this weekend and these guys are a blessing for my husband. Often I forget that men also need the encouragement of other men in their lives. To the eyes of women, these male friendships may take on a peculiar working out as they can often bond in total silence watching a game on t.v., playing a seemingly pointless and very sweaty game of HORSE or other athletic endeavor, or using virtual interaction via the Playstation while never making eye contact. This behavior is very odd to women who spend countless hours over a single cup of coffee doing (gasp) nothing but talking, but as Jay often points out, men cover the same ground much faster (as in a few grunts and monosyllabic communication) so they need other things to occupy their time. And yes, "chatting" does not make the top ten list. I am truly so grateful for the men that have blessed my husband's life. For those guys who he has laughed with and grieved with. For men that have encouraged him and challenged men. And for men who love Jay for the man God has brought him to be. In this picture Randy and Jay are approaching the hour of midnight trying to lay wood flooring for Randy's new house. While I can't imagine, as a woman, this being a bonding experience, I know that they were able to serve one another in physical labor and in encouragement. (And please be in prayer this next week as Randy and Kim have been literally working around the clock to make a fast-approaching deadline for moving into their new home.) While I may never understand it, thank you Lord for the friendships of men as well!
March 19, 2012 For the Love of Lemurs
My mom and I took the kids to the zoo today. Of course, those who know me well know this was a true sacrifice of love on my part. Paying actual money to view smelly animals ranks right up there with a day at the tag agency for me, but alas, zoos are the stuff of childhood memories, right? In all reality, I do enjoy the experience of the zoo with my family, just not well...the excrement, heat, walking and various scents. The Waco zoo is a small zoo, and so it was fun to walk the entire area in a short amount of time. The weather was cool, but we noticed an absence of large animals. Notice Annabeth's up close and personal shot with the giraffe behind glass? So here's the little glimpse of gratitude for this day: Jack has a thing for lemurs. I have no idea...really. He just loves lemurs. I'm sure it's one of those quirky Sampson genes but for whatever reason, lemurs are just the hot thing for him right now. And oh yeah- he also loves maps. I know, I'm really impressing the ladies with all these qualities, but that's Jack for ya. So he's walking around the zoo with a map that numbers the animals and shows their numbers on the map. So picture little scrawny guy, walking blindly with map over face, little voice, "Yep, check! Number three-Macaw, yes, check!" Like we need confirmation that that was indeed the macaw not to be confused with number four the sloth. Anyway, lemurs were number two and were strangely absent when we started the zoo journey, but Jack had full confidence that we would circle back around and end the day with the lemurs of Lemur Island. Mom and I were becoming slowly aware throughout the day that most animals were contained instead of roaming free. Then we overheard a lady mention that Waco was under a severe storm threat so "all difficult to gather-up animals" were being kept inside. Oh dear, I had a foreboding sense that the darling lemurs of Lemur Island would indeed fall in that category. Now I want to be clear that I do not walk around my days treating God like a genie in a bottle, but when you walk for awhile with your Father, the Spirit brings a beautiful gift of constant prayer to your life. I've only noticed this within the last ten years of my life, but often my first thoughts of joy or peace or concern are lifted right up to His loving care no matter how small they may seem. So as Jack was excitedly bounding toward Lemur Island ("Yes, check! Lemur Island next up! Check!") I prayed that those little lemurs would be released from their confinement for the enjoyment of my son. At first, there was a dreadful stillness at Lemur Island when we arrived and Jack was starting to get tears in his eyes (I'm telling you, he really loves lemurs). But then suddenly the powers that be slid open the doors and the lovely lemurs leaped (yes, purposeful alliteration) out to the giddy delight of my son. That is what he is joyfully watching in the last pic. I never thought I'd be so happy to see a bunch of lemurs in my life! For today, I'm thankful for zoos and lemurs and quirky sons and a relationship with the Creator of the universe who cares about little boys and lemurs too.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
March 18, 2012 Taking the Time to Taste
Need I say more? A beautiful day in Dallas with just me and my sweetheart. We seriously could have just rolled down the windows and taken a nap and been perfectly content. It's a blessing to be able to rest. I fail at this so often; I have the need to accomplish and check-off my "to do" list. Breaks and rest are not just a nice idea; they are needed for re-newness of your spirit. When you take the time to rest and simple breathe fully with no agenda, your senses are made aware to fully savor the goodness of God in all things. A pleasant drive with no interruptions to conversation, strolling through shops, holding hands, and, of course, a delicious meal! Forcing yourself to slow down even pays off when eating together. Food is needed for nutrition and continued life, but taste buds allow the full enjoyment of a meal. It's another one of those things we often rush by and don't stop to give thanks. God could have given us manna and quail for every day of this life, and we would live and be thankful for His provision, but he gives us foods with millions of flavors and tiny bumps on our tongue that recognize the vastness of a culinary palette. The tongue alone is an amazing, intricate blessing from the Lord. I know that may sound strange, but the next time you are blessed with a plateful of food, take the time to truly enjoy the many flavors the Lord has set before you.
March 17, 2012 Patience; Car Trips; Ahhhh....
What do you do when you have three kids, your mother, tons of luggage and some caterpillars stuck on I-35 for 45 minutes in traffic? You just pray for some evidence of the fruit of the Spirit because otherwise, it just wouldn't be pretty. And when it happens four times between Shawnee and Waco, Texas? Well you better just keep praying....and get chocolate. It really was kind of entertaining to peer into the cars of the people literally losing their minds all around you. One car kept swerving all over the microcosm of space he had on the road to, I guess, prove that he could still move his car if that's his prerogative. It's so funny to see all the personalities emerge in bumper-to-bumper traffic (well it's funny if you're not the swervy guy or anywhere near him). Some people are just peacefully resigned to the fate of the highway powers-that-be who decided spring break was a lovely time to merge all traffic to one lane for like 250 feet of road work, while playing on their phones or watching the world go by through open windows. Some look like they would rather be receiving an un-anethestised root canal. Others literally knock days off their life expectancy with all the strain they put on their heart trying not to totally lose their marbles. And if you're attempting to give gratitude in all things? You just visit with your mother, patiently answer the million-dollar-question-from-the-back seat, "When are we going to get there?", and well, eat chocolate. You also remember that God is in control of all things, even highway traffic, and you thank Him for the car you are driving (or rather sitting in), His traveling mercies, the voices from the backseat, in-car video systems, the destination that you will eventually reach under His will, and the cocoa bean!
Oh for those of you who are still stuck on the caterpillars- we received six little caterpillars the day before we left for vacation in order to watch the joyous process of the life-cycle of the painted lady butterfly. Obviously we would miss some rather key parts of that extremely short life cycle if they were left at home, so to Waco they went! They didn't seem too bothered by the traffic.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
March 16, 2012 The Idea of Marriage
Tonight Jay had the privilege of marrying a young couple from our church. As I looked around at all those witnessing this special event and listened to the words Jay was saying, I was reminded once again about the amazing design of marriage. What a beautiful God to create a man and woman to be one flesh for life on this earth. How humbling that He uses this bond to further our sanctification and pursuit of Christ. Often, I think of the message of a wedding as only being directed toward the bride and groom, but tonight I tried to listen with a heart that is so thankful for my own marriage and with a desire to walk closer to God by walking closer with Jay. The world would not enjoy the message that Jay shares with young couples on this special day; they would rally against the idea of submission and sacrifice. It would be offensive to suggest the laying down of one's life daily in order to honor your spouse. It would be pitiable to them to lose one's identity and "self-worth" within the "restraints" of marriage. But for those of us who know the grace of our Savior, the design of marriage is meant for our good and His glory. It is an area that the enemy assails and one that our flesh wages war against, but it is also where, in humble obedience, the face of Christ is seen. The design of marriage is for our good as we rely upon the Spirit to bring about the honor, obedience, submission and respect that unite us under His blood. It is His grace that is seen as the days turn to months turn to years still by the side of the one committed to so long ago. It is His joy that is manifested in those looks that know so well, and His strength that carries us through those times that hurt our hearts. The fact that I am still bound to the one He brought me nearly 18 years ago is a testimony of His grace overflowing. I am so thankful that He has used my marriage to bring us both to a deeper understanding of His love for us and has lead us to a greater dependence upon His design for our lives.
And in the spirit of my week of sharing the service of the body. I also saw several women tonight serving this beautiful bride by decorating, cleaning, and taking care of those little details that occur for us to enjoy such a blessed day. I also arrived home after a day of running around, exhausted and still sick to a loaf of fresh-baked, delicious bread from my dear friend Sarah. I know it wasn't an easy recipe (although she makes all things in the kitchen look easy) and it was a gracious gift to share with me. It was the perfect ending to a beautiful day of renewed awareness of the necessity of reliance upon my Creator in all things from marriages to daily bread!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
March 15, 2012 Serving Though Cleaning
This is going to be about the servant-heart of my mother and sister for helping me clean and prepare my house to show within a few days, but first I must be a little type-A and be thankful for cleaning supplies as well. Now I know many of my friends will scold me for not having environmentally sound and healthy cleaners but just give me a moment to relish in the effectiveness of good old bleach. Seriously, I get giddy when watching dirt and stains disappear; "kills 99% of germs" is music to my ears. I may need an intervention, but it's just grand to have a clean house! That being said, my dear husband broke the news to me a mere couple of days ago that we were showing our house this Friday. Nevermind that it isn't on the market, I have company in the house, and we've managed to stuff things in closets, drawers and our garage for months! Oh dear, after a bit of panic, I decided I better start whistling while I work and get busy! I did give fair warning to my mother and sister that visiting me this time would involve a little elbow-grease, but somehow I don't think they took me seriously (until today). My sister's job has been to "remove the children from the house for extended periods of time" and my poor mother just started scrubbing everything in sight. (I think she has a new appreciation and perhaps even a new relationship with Magic Erasers). While I was in bed being miserable this weekend, the Spirit began to show me the beauty of His children serving one another, and He has just been saturating me with His hands and feet at work in my home and in my life ever since. My friend Sarah and I have been texting back and forth about how we have both taken our Godly homes and heritage a bit for granted. We both prayed for renewed appreciation for the true blessing of growing up in a Godly home, of experiencing the lives of saints within our own walls, and for a continued awareness of the blessing of Godly heritage. My mother and sister were on their spring break; they certainly didn't have to spend that time scrubbing and watching children for me, but they did it with joy (or at least with the absence of grumbling). I think too often in life, we think we've reached a point in our older age where it's time to be served instead of constantly serving others. I'm thankful for parents who realize that the call of servanthood for the glory of God is a call of a lifetime. I pray that I will likewise be humbled by God to continue to serve until my last breath on this earth. I've had an amazing family to model the love of Christ for me, and I pray that heritage will continue with the generations to come.
March 13, 2012 Cousins
Cousins are so much fun! I have such sweet memories of summer vacations and Christmas breaks spent in a little house in Kansas with my cousins. I was the oldest of the bunch (much like my Emma) and so it was fun to have a bunch of little minions to do my bidding. :) My sister and I insisted on doing cheerleading "stunts" with my cousin, Melissa. Of course, she was too young and naive to protest the possible breaking of her neck, so she climbed all over us with the trust only a young cousin can give. (She became a KU cheerleader and I like to think I had something to do with that...) Anyway, this week has been total chaos-I'm still sick, Bible study, preparing the house to show, co-op, and a house full of this crew! It is like every one of them have downed five Red-Bulls when they are in each other's presence. They are almost like raving lunatics trying to make the most of the precious minutes that they have to spend together. I've written about family quite a bit this year in my gratitude journals, but the idea of relatives and family is really a blessing. They are the ones that can, at times, make you a bit crazy, but God has design family with special ties that create familiarity and comfort. Moments with extended family are quite literally what make up childhood memories for most of us. Cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents are the ones that you can pick up the phone and just feel "known and still loved." Simple phrases or stories can create laughter long into the night. The creation of family is such a beautiful blessing from the Lord. I am so thankful that my little ones can create their own sweet memories as they grow up distanced in miles from relatives they love but close in hearts.
Friday, March 16, 2012
March 13, 2012 Little League
Oh my, if you ever want a little free entertainment come watch Jay coach the mighty, mighty Titans. There is something so wonderful and so completely frustrating about a bunch of little boys attempting to follow rules while running on God-given energy! God truly has put this rag-tag group of boys together as they have been under Jay's coaching for t-ball, fall ball, basketball and now moving on up to the big-time: coach pitch. When he's not pinging them with stray pitches, yelling at them to maintain some sort of focus or letting them dog-pile him, they are actually starting to look like little ball-players. I love that Jay knows that it is so much more than a mere game or athletic opportunity. I love that the boys see in Jay someone who loves them because he is loved by a Heavenly Father. Even in prayer time, they are still trying to mess around a bit, but Jay is consistent to show them what truly matters. Little boys are a breed all on their own, and I love how God made them so different from little girls. They may stink and think the most bizarre and gross things are hilarious, but they are a gift that can bring a smile to the most weary of faces. I'm so thankful Jay takes the time to pour into their young lives (even if it brings an exhaustion like no other!)
March 12, 2012 Sunlight and Spring
I love sleeping and I love extra hours in my day, so daylight saving time in the fall is one of my favorite days of the year. Alas, spring daylight saving is a day of mourning. But how amazing was it to have sunshine an hour longer today? It was such a beautiful day. I straggled out of bed long enough to breathe some of the fresh air and cool breezes. This picture was taken at 7:30 at night! The kids ran around outside today like ants at a picnic. They were almost giddy with the longer day, and I felt the same way just looking around seeing the sunshine and new budding flowers. God is so good through all the seasons. It's another blessing that I take for granted; the changing of the earth throughout the year. The gift of sunshine after dark winter days. The refreshing breezes of fall after sweltering heat. Today I tried to just sit for a moment in the sun and look at new life emerging around me after the seemingly death of winter. God truly does magnify Himself in even the most "simple" act of emerging buds on winter branches. It's an infectious joy to see peeking bits of color from bland earth. "For behold, he who forms the mountains and creates the wind, and declares to man what is his thought, who makes the morning darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth-- the LORD, the God of hosts, is his name!" Amos 4:13
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
March 11, 2012 Serving One Another
I was right about that darn fever...sigh. I've been in bed all day alternating between burning up and shivering. My head feels like it's stuffed with jagged shards of glass and cotton. Poor Annabeth is sick as well with fever, coughing and canker sores filling her mouth and throat. Now that you feel sorry for pitiful little us, look at the body of Christ at work once again. My precious friend Jennifer brought us bread and soup, and her daughter Anna made sweet little get-well notes. These are the kindnesses I wrote about in yesterday's entry. To be thought of and cared for is such a humbling gift. Warm food and kind words are nourishment for the sick body and the downcast soul. Lord, please make me aware of how I can be Your hands and feet to those You've providentially placed in my path just as You've had Your children share your love with me.
March 10, 2012 The Body; Encouraging, Equipping
I have only recently been given eyes to see the beauty of Christ's body at work. I've always been surrounded by the church, but I think I've often taken the tender kindnesses and acts of services for granted. I think I've assumed that people should just serve one another and encourage those around them because that's the way it's supposed to work. Obviously, I've also seen many mistakes and sins within the body, but today I choose to focus on just how often and how deeply God uses His design for His children to equip and encourage one another. Today I have a mountain of items that need checking off on my list, from baby showers to cleaning my house (seriously, it's probably time to unpack from that ski trip,) the list just keeps on growing. And on top of all that I have a funny feeling that a fever/cold is right around the corner readying for the attack. But today, I've noticed little ways the redeemed around me are glorifying God by meeting the needs of those He has perfectly placed in their lives. I received this text of encouragement this morning on my way to celebrate the life of a new baby given by sweet women willing to sacrifice their Saturday morning to bless a new mommy. (And yes, for those of you who are perceptively bright-I had my friend re-send this tonight because we continued to chat and I didn't know how to capture just the prayer text. And yes, I'm trying with all my might to get caught up on my days. And yes, it makes me CRAZY that some of my February days are under March but alas, I can't seem fix it) Pardon the OCD rant- ah yes, little kindnesses...my family all pitched in with pleasant attitudes to help me clean the church. Several others sent little "thinking of you" texts and encouraging messages. I think we hear the words "I'm praying for you" so often that we might grow dull to the blessing of being lifted up to the Father by another believer. It is truly humbling to think that someone is interceding and offering up my name before His throne of grace. My friend Kim's picture of the day was a picnic basket delivered to her doorstep with chips, brownies, apples and a giftcard to Subway because they are in the middle of a stressful time trying to fix up a house for a very quick move. The neighbor just included a simple note that said "Hope this lightens the load." These are all acts of the Spirit to minister to His children. We don't just wake up and want to serve and encourage those in our lives on our own. I'm pretty sure my sin nature wants to make every day about pleasing myself, but how much more joy is received in the act of serving one another? How does your heart soar when someone lets you know they are praying for you or extends kind words of encouragement? Of course, the body often rallies to stand by one another in times of crisis, but I am so thankful for how the Lord is showing me His children serving one another in small, humble ways every day. It's so encouraging to see how His Spirit produces the fruits of kindness, gentleness, love, goodness, and joy among His children for their good and His glory!
Monday, March 12, 2012
March 9, 2012 A Date With My Other Daughter
We really should have named Annabeth "Joy" as that has always been something the Lord has given us through her life. Today, was yet another gymnastics meet, but it was also a great excuse to take off early and spend some quality time with my little joyful gift. We drove to Stillwater and ate at Eskimo Joe's (of course) and had a great time sharing our hearts and of course, laughter. In a life that is so busy, I truly value those moments when the Lord gives me time to truly experience my family. Annabeth is at a time of her life when she is full of questions and quietly soaks up so much of what is said and done around her. She is an observer (Emma often chides her for openly staring at others) and she is more like her father in terms of her reluctance to just share all that is in her heart. I tend to blab my heart over anyone who will take the time to listen, so cracking Annabeth open has become something of an art form for me. Over the years, the Lord has given me wisdom in being her mother and He has filled me with understanding for a personality that has many differences from mine. Her little life has taught me much about determination, endurance, and the wisdom of being quiet at times. I often have to get creative in our conversations when all the answers seem to end with a mere "good, fine, yes, or no," but when she does open her heart, it is always a beautiful blessing. She's the kind of kid who will write deep thoughts in a private journal or add thoughtful touches to one's day without them ever knowing. The gratitude thought for today is, of course, thankfulness for my beautiful second-born daughter, but also for the intricate design God has for families. I love that he takes two virtual strangers and grows their hearts together over a lifetime journey. Then he adds little bodies to the mix, each exhibiting parts of a parent and then blossoming into their own unique person knit together before the foundations of time. I'm so thankful for a Creator who has placed precious individuals under my care on this earth. I'm humbled to parent such amazing blessings, but I am also so thankful that just as the Lord has given me these children, He has fully prepared and equipped me to be their mother. Thank you Lord for Your faithfulness in my family that You have created for Your glory!
March 8, 2012 Laughter
This is pretty much what fills my cell phone photo album and, thankfully, my life. Without a doubt the number one question most commonly asked when people find out I am Jay Sampson's wife is, "He is so funny, do you just laugh all the time?" I often smile and say "Oh he's pretty wonderful" while inside I'm thinking, "Yes all life's problems just melt away when married to Mr. Funny Man." In truth, I am so thankful for having a home full of laughter. While at times I want to chunk my shoe at Jay when he cracks a joke during what I consider a somber heart-to-heart ah...discussion...but God has also prepared my soul for life with a man of humor, and often those small little skirmishes dissipate when he can get me to smile at the silliness of the situation. Really, I'm ready to declare war over a missed trash day? Of course, Jay's nearly 18 years of marriage has also provided some wisdom and discernment for appropriate moments for smiles. My family is kind of quirky and I love it! Sometimes I walk in a room and the kids and Jay are doubled over with laughter and no one really knows why. I think I am often serious enough for the whole bunch, so it's beautiful to be given to a husband and children who know the joy of laughter!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
March 7, 2012 God Designed Friendship
I've mentioned before I don't have the most warm and fuzzy personality. I'm sure I inherited a bit of my, shall we say "reserved", outlook on life from my father. He was always a rather intimidating presence sitting silently in his armchair whenever my friends made an appearance at the our home. But as I posted before, Godly friendships are a true gift from the Lord. It is such a beautiful blessing to have sisters in Christ to share this journey of life together. Kim is one of my dear friends from our early days of "newly married." Her husband and Jay were college roommates and so we were all young marrieds together. You know those days when you think you are busy and poor but in all reality you were living the life of luxury; making more money on double salaries and being able to hit a movie or restaurant any time of the day? Kim and I are fairly opposite in our personalities (where you have to look for me at a party, she's the shining star) but our bond as sisters in Christ has only grown in the many years I've had the gift of her friendship. We went to college together, were married within a year of each other and had our first little ones within six months of each other (exactly six months to the day as she said during my labor on June 15, "Oh if you have her after midnight then she and Luke will be exactly six months apart!" As Emma's birth time is 1:20 a.m. June 16, 22 hours of labor later, I try not to hold that against her) We haven't lived in the same town for 12 years, but I feel as though I've walked most of my days with her by my side. I have the personality that enjoys the people that are present in my life, but I struggle to maintain friendships at a distance. I am praying for the Lord to bring to my mind those He wants me to pursue, but I am so thankful that Kim has always "pursued" our friendship. She wouldn't let me retreat to my little home or hide behind my melancholy personality. Throughout the years we have walked so many moments of our lives together. We've share beautiful memories, cried many tears, challenged and encouraged each other, and have watched the Lord at work in each of our lives. It's been a few days since we've talked or texted one another and so today she sent me an email running down the events of the past week. After reading it, I sent her a message saying it was like putting drugs in front of an addict. Every line made me want to sit over a cup of coffee and share our hearts for hours. Hearing from her today just made me aware to be so grateful for the gift of Biblical friendship. To watch the Lord at work in a beautiful friend for so many years is a true blessing. I think sometimes I take for granted the voices of wisdom that He has placed in my life. The friends who are being used by Him to spur me on to love and good works. She is the one I am taking this gratitude journey with and I am so thankful for her Godly, loyal, truthful friendship!
March 6, 2012 Entertaining Electronics Off
We have been modifying the weekly fast schedule from A Season of Lent at the Village. They have weekly recommendations of fasts chosen because each represents a common comfort to which our culture runs for distraction. Their explanation is, "Far from a mere responsibility, these weekly fasts give us opportunities to pursue greater communion with Christ. By emptying our lives of commotion, clutter and noise, we hope to find greater room for Him to speak through His Word. Rather than simply subtracting something from our lives, this is an opportunity to add something greater....the hope for each is that a season of unplugging from the background buzz will be leveraged for the sake of communing with the Lord." We are not making it a legalistic endeavor by any means but each week the kids and I discuss our Bible passages for the week and the weekly fast suggestion. We decided this week to take a break from "entertaining electronics" today. It is something that we will probably continue throughout the year. (For those of you playing along at home, remember every time I mention "No Technology Tuesday" the earth rattles a bit-we did indeed lose electricity today during a storm). I do have to give testimony that today was a blessed day to be free of electronic entertainment. None of us struggled with the absence of it, but it was rather eye-opening at how often we would reach for it just on "auto-pilot." Just like grabbing a drink of water or flipping a light switch, we were surprised by how often we might have turned to it to pass the time today. It was good to be reminded to be more aware of how our time is spent each day. We are creatures of habit and often find ourselves in activities that are part of our daily routine but maybe not the best use of our time for that particular day. I'm thankful for a Holy Spirit given awareness of the mere "fluff" that occupies the time of my days. That is probably what distracts me most from singular focus on Christ-the seemingly small things set before me for the purpose of my "entertainment" rather than for my good and His glory. My prayer over the next few weeks is that I will have discernment to see what the enemy is using to dull my spiritual awareness and lessen my hunger and thirst for righteousness, and that I will rely on the Spirit to awaken in me a renewed depth of love and longing for my Savior.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
March 5, 2012 Passing the Torch
Many years ago, two sisters from our college department came over to my house to spend some time with my girls. They created "sister day" and played with my young girls, took them to the mall, and just spent time making them feel special. I remember begin shocked that two young women would sacrifice their time to play Barbies and eat ice cream in a food court with little girls just four and six. After they left, "sister day" was excitedly talked about for weeks to come. We still occasionally bring up those special "sister days" and the girls laugh and share some memory. Over time many college girls would spend time in my home loving on my children. There really was nothing in it for them (I clearly wasn't paying them) but they would take them to the movies or grab ice cream. They would stay at the house with them and enter their worlds of make-believe wholeheartedly enjoying what made the kids happy. They would make cookies, crafts, and gingerbread houses, and they always seemed to genuinely love my children. What an incredible blessing to have these precious young women forever written on the memories of the hearts of my family! As I think over these memories, I smile and miss those girls hanging out in my living room watching all the quirks of my family but loving us nonetheless. And now I see the Christ-like love that they modeled for my girls coming back around to be poured upon a new generation of little women. Remember Cora from the plant? This is Cora and she is one of the many special little girls in the lives of my daughters. Today she came over for peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches and to play American Girls with Emma and Annabeth. There really wasn't a reason or need for this sudden playdate other than my girls just wanted to love on her. I've watched Annabeth hop around for hours in the front yard with the two little ones from across the street and Emma bend to listen to the sweet stories of the lives of young ones at church. My girls will often come up with ideas to do with little girls just like Miss Livy or Miss Nicole or Miss Sarah or Miss Kara or Miss Mandy or Miss Oli did for them. They cry tears when saying good-bye but they always smile with the memories and testify to the goodness of the Lord to bring another Godly young woman to pour into their lives. As they've grown up, these young women now turned wives, mothers, missionaries are now their sisters in Christ and what a beautiful legacy they've left to be carried on by my two young women who I pray will continue to show the love of Christ to the little ones placed in their lives as well.
March 4, 2012 Expressions of Love
The expression of love, security and belonging is such a beautiful gift from our Lord. Today in worship, I looked down to see Jack holding the hands of both of his parents. His little voice echoed the words of worship as he sweetly grasped our hands. I am not exactly a "touchy-feely" type of person. When Jay and I took the "love language" test I scored a whoppin' one on physical touch and that was only because I had to choose it over gift giving which came in dead last with zip. I went over the top in quality time and acts of service, but of course Jay tested high on gift giving and physical touch with next to nothing on quality time and acts of service (Yes, we are a match made in heaven) Anyway, I love that Jack had no second thoughts about reaching out to hold the hands of someone he loves. God so often teaches me much through my children, and even today in the simplest act of holding hands, I was reminded to remember that those I love need to know they are loved. God pours his love upon us in so many ways and what a comfort it is to rest in that love without hesitation or second-guessing. My prayer is that when God chooses to use me to show His love to those around me, may I be comfortable and patient to express that love for His glory. I don't require much "fuss" in my relationships therefore I think I neglect the small, yet diverse ways, to communicate love even within my own household. That welcome-home hug that seems like an interruption in my dinner preparation is something that matters to Jay (see- physical touch verses acts of service). Annabeth's eagerness to help in all things may seem at times like a nuisance to me, but her need for quality time can be meet by spending time in the kitchen together. It may slow me down, but is efficiency in my household better than expressions of love? As Emma becomes a young woman, I pray that the Lord will show me how to reflect the love of her Abba Father; to break with my schedule when need be to express love through words with silly chats or bedtime whispers. That sweet hand in mine this morning was a beautiful gift, may I never be so jaded, busy or distracted to not receive and express the love of the Father from those and to those He has given to me.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
March 3, 2012 Swinging Their Own Way
Today was a beautiful day! It was fun to be with Grams at a park in Tulsa. Of course, it was a bit deceptive as while the sun was shining, there was a fierce wind that was rather chilly. Emma and Grams quickly retreated to the van for warmth, but I stuck it out while the other two ran about oblivious to the cold. I'm always amazed when I watch kids play. I've already written about it in depth this year, but seriously how refreshing is it to take a moment out of your serious adult world to listen to the giggles and unbelievable scenarios that occur on a playground? At one point though, I did notice that perhaps my family stood out just a bit from the other park-goers this day. For starters, I had taken Jack's sweatshirt that he apparently didn't need, and out of sheer desperation for a smidgen of warmth, I tied it around my head and under my chin. Yes, I just kept hearing some motherly warning about 90% of your body heat escaping from your head and since my ears had gone numb from the bitter wind, why not tie a child's sweatshirt over your head in a public park? Of course, I wasn't bold enough to snap a picture of myself-you'll just have to use your imagination (it can't be any worse than the actual picture). Then I noticed that my children also looked different from the other kids scampering about. This is how they both swung for an extensive amount of time while laughing at the top of their lungs. Jack hit a different pose every time he reached the top of the swinging motion and Annabeth... well, her picture speaks for itself. A couple of older kids gave them a few strange looks, but Jack and Annabeth were oblivious because they weren't there to impress anyone; they just thought of something fun and did it. And the laughter was contagious because most people started smiling themselves as they walked by. Laughter is a gift from the Lord- "A glad heart makes a cheerful face." I love that my children are not yet so consumed by the expectations of the world to be insecure in their enjoyment of God's gift of life. May I also return my eyes to only the expectations of Christ so that I may grace my days with smiles instead of being weighed down with the fleeting expectations of this world.
March 2, 2012 The Battle of the Mind
When I first started this journey, I wrote on numerous occasions about my anxiousness in giving gratitude in all things but especially if I have to face a heartbreak of some sort. Today is another one of those days that I keep retreating into my head; battling those doubts of the mind. Hence the absence of a picture since I couldn't figure out a way to take a snapshot of the inner workings of my mind. I've already had to confess this a couple of times so far this year, and it's only March, so clearly this will be a battle in my desire to express gratitude in every moment of my most blessed life. It's amazing how looking back over my life with Christ, when the heartbreaking moments have come I truly have felt “held close” by my Savior. It's in the moments when I'm brought face-to-ground that I know the truth of the amazing peace from my Abba Father that surpasses my understanding. When I've called out for the comfort, guidance and love of my Savior, He's given me the gift of genuine faith of my own, not the mere mimicry of the faith of those around me. So today as little thoughts fight to claim root in my mind, I must confess to worry and doubt while clinging to the victory that is mine as a child of the Living God. Kevin DeYoung writes in his book Just Do Something concerning Matthew 6:25-34:
The big idea of this passage could not be any clearer, Jesus does not want us to worry about the future. God knows what we need to live. When He wants us to die, we will die. And as long as He wants us to live, we will live. He will provide us with the food , drink, jobs, housing, with everything that we need to live and glorify Him in this life until He wants us to glorify Him by dying. Worrying and fretting and obsessing about the future, even if it is a pseudo-holy worry that attempts to discern the will of God, will not add one single hour to your life, and it will certainly not add any happiness or holiness either.
Worry and anxiety are not merely bad habits or idiosyncrasies. They are sinful fruits that blossom from the root of unbelief. Jesus doesn't treat obsession with the future as a personal quirk, but as evidence of little faith (vs 30). Worry and anxiety reflect our hearts' distrust in the goodness and sovereignty of God. Worry is a spiritual issue and must be fought with faith. We must fight to believe that God has mercy for today's troubles and, no matter what may come tomorrow, that God will have new mercies for tomorrow's troubles. (Lamentations 3:22-23). God's way is not to show us what tomorrow looks like or even to tell us what decisions we should make tomorrow. That's not His way because that's not the way of faith. God's way is to tell us that He knows tomorrow, He cares for us, and therefore, we should not worry.
Today the battle is those tiny seeds of discontentment and worry. The battle that rages really comes down to my desire for control in my life. Although I confess with my lips that all control belongs to Christ, the essence of my daily agitations is when I feel as though things are not going my way and to my pleasing. I know in my head how foolish it would be if I really was given control of all things; nothing good would come from that, and yet I still raise my little fist in rebellion when I feel as though my world has been disrupted. Today I am so thankful that the Spirit has imparted truth to my soul when those tiny yet dangerous darts from the enemy attempt to rally my desire to put myself on the throne of my life; I know the true holy throne to approach with full confession and restoration. The battle is His and the victory has already been won, may I live with that faith fully taking root in every moment of my life.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
March 1, 2012 Spring and Small Buds
March 1, 2012
I love the month of March! It's so refreshing to think about longer days, warm sunshine, new life springing up. A sweet little four-year-old named Cora entrusted Emma to watch her plant for her while we were gone on our ski trip. When Cora handed the plant off to Emma's care, the buds were just beginning to poke their heads through; she was so excited to see what would happen in the days she was gone from her little plant. Emma said she'd have better luck keeping Cora alive, so she was a bit nervous about caring for a tiny potted plant. But she was diligent to provide the water and light needed to sustain the life of her little treasure. No matter how old you are, it is always amazing to plant something as seemingly dull as a seed and then to watch vibrant color poking through the dark soil. I think today's gratitude is for the small, sweet miracles in life. The mountains were majestic but so is each new bud on a seemingly dead tree. I love how my dear friend Sarah always says "As the Lord wills" or adds "Lord willing" to her plans for the future. If you truly stop to think about everything under the hand of our beautiful, sovereign Lord, it is such a sweet and humble place to live. Everything in nature, everything we assume to be a given- air to breath, the beating of our hearts, the opening of our eyes each morning are beautiful gifts from God. We plant a seed and expect a plant, but how often do we give praise for the sovereign details of life in that seed? I think this week I am going to pray to see the precious God-given miracles in each of my days. To not walk in arrogant assumptions but to truly bow my head in gratefulness for tiny buds, sweet smiles, working lungs, sunshine on my face, water from the tap, and oh so many other things that seem so small but are really so amazing.
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