February 11, 2012 The Bee Pillow Re-visited

February 11, 2012

There's a silly little story about a sweet little bee pillow that I wrote a couple of years ago in regards to my Momma-heart hurting when Annabeth didn't get a ribbon at the fair for a bee pillow that she designed and made and turned in with expectant heart.  Bee pillow meet RA car racer.  Emma asked me the other day, "Mom, why do you cry over things like bee pillows, gymnastics, and blue fingernails?"  I tried to tell her that although I'm a bit cynical and always seem to be preparing everyone for possible disappointment, I just go to Momma-mush when their little expectant hearts get hurt.  They can neglect to tie their shoes and fall to receive gashes and bruises; I brush them off and send them on their way.  Upset over bad grades or piano lessons gone wrong? Well, study harder; practice more.  But work all week on designing and painting your own little car to come home empty-handed, and I'm a blubbering idiot. 

My dining room table is still full of paint tubes, brushes, and scratch paper.  Jay and Jack spent several nights this week designing his car for the RA Racer Derby today.  They sketched and practiced and created to Jack's very specific specifications.  Jack lost two races and won one, so it wasn't a total bust, but Jay noticed that he wanted to stay until the very end.  He seemed to be a bit hesitant when everyone was packing it up, and Jay said it was time to go.  When Jay questioned him about his hesitancy, he said, "They haven't given out the design trophies yet, Dad."  Jay answered, "Yes they have Buddy. Remember the truck and the cool red car with the pipes on it?"  Jack's face immediately fell and down he looked with quivering lip.  After some father-son consoling, they got in the car to drive home.  After a bit of driving, Jack's little voice said, "I bet they probably didn't see the cool faces I painted on the missiles because the wheels covered them up.  I bet that's it."   He was still pretty shaky when he got home to me and crawled in my lap for a little comfort.  Of course, I rallied and proclaimed how proud I was and immediately face-timed Nana because I knew she would rant and rave over his precious designer car.  Then I went to my room and cried.  But of course once I released some of those crazy Mommy hormones, I sought to view even a little race car with eyes of gratitude.  And the Spirit brought to mind every hand that touched that car.  A small group of boys meet weekly with never-ending prayer requests and more energy than the makers of Red Bull to learn about God through the RA program.  A very special teacher leaves a full-work day in the middle of the week to enter into the chaos of hyper-active boys, but patiently listens, corrects, teaches and explains.  The boys work together and then the cars come home for parents to spend time designing and painting those finishing touches.  A church opens it doors to offer children a place to race little cars and build a day of memories.  And every time Jay looks at that little car in our living room, he smiles.  As he told Jack, "Buddy, we'll build more cars and they'll look even cooler as we learn more and more, but this little car will always be my favorite because it was our first one to do together."  I'm not sure why I get so worked up over life's little disappointments, why even now there are tears running down my face.  But I do know that in Christ there are no disappointments.  Nothing about God ever falls short.  Stopping to think about the blessed consistency of Christ fills me with a humble awe. There will be no pain, no tears, no hurt in Heaven and even on earth our Savior is about our good and His glory.  We serve a Living God who never fails.  So that would be a lie when I said Jack came home empty-handed.  He has a father on earth who patiently sketched faces on missiles and a random number 16 on top of a little wooden car, and he has a Father in heaven who is about the purpose of sanctification already in his young life, and while he may face temporary disappointments on this earth, he can hold tightly to the beautiful promise of eternity at the throne of a never-failing God.