January 1, 2012 The Smile of Grace

January 1, 2012

The beginning....for me, this is often a time of anxiety as I attempt to make a perfect start. The beginning must start correctly and in the appropriate manner or I have to wait for the next beginning and, at the moment, 2013 seems rather far away to begin. So I force myself to begin today knowing that failure is right around the corner. But that's the beauty of the story of thanks today. The smile of Grace.

I just spent exactly 92 hours with six relatives snuggled in with my family of five for the procuring of holiday family fun and memories. Five of the little people were still in childhood so peaceful moments of sipping hot chocolate by the fire were not to be had. Movies, games, parks, food, sweets and lots of laughter kept everyone rolling at a quick pace and my melancholy, introverted nature was challenged at times. But in the midst of the chaos, the moment of Spirit-whispering-gratitude occurred when all the littles were on the way to bed and I was anticipating curling up with quiet thoughts of my own. Upon entering my bathroom, I was greeted by the loudest clang of a dropping iron cross upon bathroom tile. We both jumped a mile and my eight-year old niece looked at me with wide, frightened eyes as it was her hopping out of the bathroom (she tends to hop everywhere) that forced the collision with cross and shoulder. Both hearts racing, we just looked at each other for a long moment. It took me a moment to register that her look to me was one of fear and apprehension. Those huge eyes held 100 “sorrys” and were frozen in anticipation at how the owner of the cross might react. The noise was loud but the damage was none and the cross is merely a wall decoration, so my thoughts were already moving on to other things. She had no knowledge of any of this and her heart was racing for the reaction- Anger? Frustration? Scolding? But what met her was a smile, a “that's ok, look-no harm done.” It seemed rather simple for me but the melting of apprehension that rolled off her little face was truly beautiful. A quick “I'm sorry, Aunt Amy” and of course, back to hopping her way to bed. Simple occurrence, or moment of viewing the smiles of Grace that flow in my life? “Grace, grace, God's grace. Grace that will pardon and cleanse within. Grace, grace, God's grace. Grace that is greater than all my sin!” Do I approach my Savior of forgiveness with cringing face and scant hope to just hope for an “it's ok” or "I'll overlook this one, but get your act together!" or do I see the depths of His incomprehensible love for me and grace that extends beyond the clanging of my life? I smile at the cross now and hum the hymn and close my eyes to feel for a moment the waves of perfect, holy Grace washing over me.