Today I am rather melancholy, not in an ungrateful way, but more in a soberly serious way as I miss my best friend. I feel an emptiness as "the one my soul loves" is an ocean away (Song of Solomon 1:7). We will celebrate 18 years of marriage this summer, and I am so utterly grateful that the Lord has carried and strengthened us through many trials and difficulties of marriage to be at this place when what I miss most is....just him. At the beginning of our marriage, I fear we were probably glad to take "breaks" from one another selfishly satisfying our own need for independence. During the early years of babies and toddlers, I mainly missed his help when he was gone. Doing all the things required for caring for young ones is exhausting. But now I can honestly say I miss him; his daily texts and phone calls, his willingness to serve us in so many ways, the nightly re-caps of our days, and just having that other part of you a moment away. I truly believe the Lord provides such an amazing gift of joy and peace and utter comfort to those that continue to honor Him by (sometimes just plain doggedly) submitting to His Lordship in submitting to the spouse He has given you. It takes so much time from an earthly perspective to truly begin to understand the reflection of Christ in a marriage. You laugh together, cry together, dislike each other, enjoy one another, and the days turn to months and then to years. As you reflect on the journey, you see the love and faithfulness of Christ so beautifully written over those vows uttered so long ago. In this manner of constant dying to self, you discover joy and friendship and love that only the Creator can supply. It's funny that even as I have had a lonely day thinking of Jay, Annabeth also wrote the following in her gratitude journal- "I am thankful for a loving mom and day that are together and love God, each other, and me." We've modeled so many failures and sins throughout our time as parents but great is His faithfulness to take the offerings of a faithful marriage and write His glory upon the hearts of our children and ourselves. For this, I praise His Holy Name!
Ps- Pardon the late post but apparently I offended the overlords of AT&T by merely mentioning "No Technology Tuesday" and was thus zapped with the absence of internet for, gasp, over 24 hours! Because, of course, that is yet another area that I so heavily rely upon Jay to keep right in my world. Along with taking out the trash, running the children all over town, wrestling with Jack, basketball practice, tending to the needs of the kids at night, making coffee, putting gas in the car.....ok, perhaps I'm a bit spoiled, more to be grateful for!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment